Today I struggled with my desire for practicality. This is the tricky thing when talking about philosophies and paradigms. I want to be able to see straight away why they are useful and constructive. The engineer in me wants to know how I can apply it, how I can use it to create change.
I... just... want... to... FIX IT! Fix something.
But today's result was not that, it was getting to grips with the uncomfortable feeling of not knowing. Of not planning for anything in particular to happen and to wait open minded for the emergent properties of the system to reveal themselves.
To be humble enough to express in public that I don't know the answer. To admit that I think like the rest of the world and I don't see an immediate solution to my current mind frame. But there is one out there...
Trust.
What do you trust? Do you trust the system when you can't expect what it's outcomes will be? Do you trust yourself, others? For me it always goes back to a higher being, to the Lord. But it still never sits easy with me, the lack of action, the lack of control.
I don't think it means to sit and do nothing but to be aware of how my idea of fixing a situation might be the opposite. Might be a by product of the society that I was raised in and the mindset I've been exposed to. And to try and transcend that and see others.
So far complexity does not seem like a tool for making solutions but rather for realizing how there is no simple predictable solution.
Do we use this to be prepared? I don't think you can ever think of all the aspects, of all the possible outcomes... There will always be those that surprise you.
